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How to push past self-imposed mental limitations in 10 practical steps

September 11th, 2024 | 4 min. read

By Paseo Club Team

Going full tilt during HIIT class, a half marathon, or an intense match on the courts requires strength, mobility, and stamina. You have to go faster, lift heavier, or exert more, pushing past the limits of what you thought possible. But your mental fortitude is equally important as your physical capacity. 

We all experience inner dialogue narrating our ability to either take on the challenge at hand or to fail dismally. Whether that voice is supportive or damaging directly affects personal performance and our willingness to try new things and push past pre-conceived boundaries.

The Paseo Club is a social club in Santa Clarita outfitted with tennis, pickleball, swimming, Pilates, and fitness facilities. From weekend warriors to competitive athletes, we support everyone in being active and fit.

In this article, you will learn how to recognize your inner dialogue, why you impose limits on yourself, and how your mental limitations apply to exercise and fitness.

comp_IMG_4325How do you recognize your inner dialogue?

Do you hear that? The little voice in your head? The one only you can hear?  What is it telling you?

The inner voice is a constant stream of thoughts, feelings, reflections, problem-solving, criticisms, and planning. There are several types of self-talk that all play different roles in our daily lives.

  • Neutral
  • Positive
  • Negative 
  • Motivational
  • Instructional

Your inner voice can be helpful when working through issues. It can provide clarity and reduce anxiety. But it can also hold you back, being judgmental and affecting your self-confidence and worth.   

Why do people impose limits on themselves?

We all have an inner critic. 

However, too much negative self-talk can be unfair, pessimistic, mean-spirited, and ultimately damaging. Negativity can shut us down and limit our ability to function as a whole person. It can create a cycle of fear and limitations that is hard to break.  

So, why do we do this to ourselves?

comp_IMG_2237People impose limits on themselves for various reasons. Seth J Gillihan, Ph.D., found these to be the most common.

  • Fear of failure
  • Mitigate embarrassment
  • Self-protect from unsafe situations
  • Healthy boundaries to care for physical, mental, and/or emotional health
  • To avoid being different from friends, family, or others in your community
  • What are some common areas that people limit themselves?

Notice that not all of the causes listed above are negative. Limitations can be protective and instructive, which serves an important purpose.

However, negative limitations are more predominant and often hold us back from actualizing our true potential in many areas of our lives.

Some argue that negative self-talk can motivate people to try harder and face challenges. 

However, limiting yourself affects your entire outlook on life. It can lead to stress, anxiety, a fear of change, and reduced decision-making capabilities. 

Work: asserting ourselves for promotions, raises, leadership roles, career changes, challenging mistreatment, collaborating with others on team projects, taking on new skills

Relationships: Initiating new relationships, communicating about concerns or struggles, leaving destructive relationships, deepening intimacy, 

Health and Fitness: Avoiding exercise, new activities, changing habits, losing weight, getting stronger, joining competitions or tournaments

Imposing limitations on ourselves that are fueled by negative self-talk restricts our ability to change our bodies and increase our fitness. Negativity can lead to depression and a gloomy outlook, making it hard to get up and move. This negative belief-inactivity cycle can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, placing you in a loop of doing nothing.

Iicomp_MG_2033How do we push past these self-imposed limitations?

There are ten practical steps that everyone can take to change why, how, and when you impose limitations on yourself.

1. Recognize and identify negative thoughts

  • Practice awareness, paying attention to your inner dialogue. 
  • Notice when you're engaging in negative self-talk.
  • Write down your negative thoughts to better understand patterns and triggers.

2. Challenge and reframe negative thoughts

  • Ask yourself if the negative thought is based on facts or assumptions. 
  • Challenge the validity of these thoughts.
  • Reframe your limiting thoughts by replacing them with positive or neutral ones. For example, instead of thinking, "I always mess things up," try, "I make mistakes, but I learn from them."

3. Practice self-compassion

  • Be kind to yourself by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend.
  • Use positive affirmations to counteract negative self-talk. Statements like "I am capable," or "I deserve happiness," can reinforce a positive mindset.

comp_IMG_44854. Mindfulness and meditation

  • Practice mindfulness and observe your thoughts without judgment. This can help you detach from negative self-talk.
  • Regular meditation can help reduce the intensity of negative thoughts and promote a calmer mind.

5. Surround yourself with positivity

  • Surround yourself with positive influences—people, media, and activities that uplift you.
  • Engage with supportive friends or groups who encourage positive thinking and a growth mindset.

6. Cognitive behavioral techniques

  • Keep a record of negative thoughts and work through them systematically to challenge and change them.
  • Test the reality of negative thoughts by taking small actions that prove them wrong. This repatterns belief systems and activates new neural pathways.

7. Focus on strengths and achievements

  • Start a gratitude practice by regularly reflecting on what you are grateful for to shift focus away from fears and worries.
  • Keep a list of your strengths and past successes to remind yourself of your capabilities.

crop_comp_weights - Edited8. Limit comparisons

  • Limit time spent comparing yourself to others, especially on social media, as this often fuels negative self-talk.

9. Seek professional support

  • Consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor, especially if negative self-talk is persistent and overwhelming. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective in addressing and changing negative thought patterns.

10. Practice patience and persistence

  • Be patient. Changing thought patterns takes time and persistence. Be gentle with yourself throughout the process.
  • Be consistent in your practice because these strategies will help gradually reduce the frequency and intensity of negative self-talk.
  • Incorporating these strategies into your daily life can lead to significant improvements in how you talk to and perceive yourself.

comp_IMG_2079Believing in the impossible

Limiting yourself in life does not magically go away on its own. It is essential to acknowledge the thoughts that fuel your decisions and give them time to clear. Developing a practice of compassion and positivity can gradually diminish the power they hold over you. 

The Paseo Club is a welcoming community that supports and encourages members in health, fitness, and social engagement. It is a great place to meet others with similar values and interests.

Your membership at the Paseo Club gives you access to all types of options to be physically active, with over 60 fitness classes each week, tennis and pickleball drills, a Pilates studio, and a junior Olympic pool. All of this, and more, is at your fingertips!

Join the Paseo Club today and discover your next passion! 

Join Now!

Paseo Club Team